The divine invention of the human mind,
The element purest perceived by mortal kind,
Tamed to man's liking- flickering at the tip of an oiled wick,
to a spot of light reduced- at a smokers finger tip.
Beware- it's blazing rage, it's wrath unseen,
could drown the best of the brave into a haunted sea;
of gruesome deaths, of bodies chipped, of withered lives,
of dreams that awaken slumbers as if stabbed with a thousand knives.
Fire is the first colour beyond the window of a working mind- illuminated; drunk on a thought brand new,
Fire is in the charred manuscript of a forbidden idea in the hands of timid mortals ; perceived way ahead of its time- written by a mighty few.
Fire is also the end of a brave genius at the stakes burnt,
for refusing to apologise for stating the truth through observation that he learnt.
Fire is in the hasty strokes of a poets quill , lest his words travel unheard, perched upon times soaring wing.
Fire is in the mocking slogan etched across the archway of a reigning king.
Fire is in the sacred anthem of a society behind veils, meeting in shadows for what they believe.
Fire is in breaking shackles, tied by tradition, failing to restrain a spirit impossible to cleave.
Fire is in the unshakeable will to try, when the last breath in you has died,
to search within depths of a sunless sea for the hope to go on- for the popular belief you have defied.
Fire is in pursuit, fire is in passion, fire is in quenching relentless curiosity,
In the search for truth , in the belief in proof, in the decision to defy them wrong majority.
Friday, August 25, 2017
FIRE
Sunday, July 30, 2017
The Marriage Market Hypocrisy
Once upon a time, long long ago,a (not very bright) person in our society concluded that a wedding is every girls greatest dream. The society, has ever since taken it upon itself to prepare the girl for her wedding, irrespective of whether she asked for it or not.
First things first, once you get into the so called marriageable age, there is this mould that you need to fit into. Hair a certain length, skin a certain tone or brighter, not too thin, not too fat, voice a particular pitch, clothes a certain kind and yes, although not very openly spoken about; breasts a certain size. Here is the catch. What this mould is, is decided upon by the parents. Never the prospective bride or groom. Life is afterall all about adjustments..
So by the time you reach this dreaded age, the you who has won debates against beauty pageants arguing that beauty is skin deep, who passionately wrote essays against the dowry system, stood shoulder to shoulder with the boys in your class without realising it and most importantly, the you who deeply respect your parents and teachers for inculcating in you a sense of equality with men- the independent , free-thinking you , will have to ask your brain to please go on a holiday for a while- for this is the year when the hypocrisy of the marriage market will wave hello.
Numero uno- the colour- nobody in India is ever fair enough. Time to attend your roll call at the beauty parlour, where you are obviously the ugliest female the beautician has set her eyes on. Enter facials and de tan treatments.
Once you are done dealing with this self induced abuse, next comes your weight. Too thin, too fat, never enough. Your options- hog on food till you burst or starve till you die; because no boy will want to marry a girl like you.
A haircut? Dont cut your hair too short. Please get a nice haircut atleast - you look like a villager.
While on one end everybody will be bent up on crushing your self esteem under their feet, your parents will frantically go to the all knowing astrologer with horoscopes to find a match.
Thanks to a twist of fate, they will at last find one match. "Bechara" (poor) guy - your friends will call him. Ofcouse he is a poor guy- this mould they put you into is strangulating you and he has no idea.
Their family comes to see you next. You have been adviced on how to behave. Don't talk too much. Don't smile too much. Don't ask too many questions. Don't be you. Please, don't be you.
After awkward questions from both sides comes the bonus- talk to him on the phone and get to know each other.
A catch awaits.. your parents casually talk about the amount of gold they can afford to deck you up in. They wonder if it will be enough..
Your brain that has come back from its holiday , much to everybody's distaste pops the big question- "Are they selling you for a price or buying him ?" You dare to voice this question and you get flooded by emotional speeches on how it is their prestige at stake here. That you should be lucky you even have a guy who is ready to marry you. You were never the right colour, size or type anyways .
Thanks to a twist of fate, they will at last find one match. "Bechara" (poor) guy - your friends will call him. Ofcouse he is a poor guy- this mould they put you into is strangulating you and he has no idea.
Their family comes to see you next. You have been adviced on how to behave. Don't talk too much. Don't smile too much. Don't ask too many questions. Don't be you. Please, don't be you.
After awkward questions from both sides comes the bonus- talk to him on the phone and get to know each other.
A catch awaits.. your parents casually talk about the amount of gold they can afford to deck you up in. They wonder if it will be enough..
Your brain that has come back from its holiday , much to everybody's distaste pops the big question- "Are they selling you for a price or buying him ?" You dare to voice this question and you get flooded by emotional speeches on how it is their prestige at stake here. That you should be lucky you even have a guy who is ready to marry you. You were never the right colour, size or type anyways .
Curtains raise.. Marriage day..
Wake up at 2 am.. make up till 7 am.. breakfast if you can find the time.. everything is in the hands of the one doing your make-up.. one wrong dab and everything could be destroyed.
Wake up at 2 am.. make up till 7 am.. breakfast if you can find the time.. everything is in the hands of the one doing your make-up.. one wrong dab and everything could be destroyed.
Enter elders...
Checking the weight of your ornaments - not a cause for scorn
Counting the number of necklaces and bangles- not a cause for scorn .
Time to step on the stage..
Examining every inch of the couple on stage- not a cause for scorn .
Deciding on who among the couple is 'lucky' because they managed to bag a good looking spouse- not a cause for scorn.
The bride and groom chat on stage with the whole world watching- Congratulations. You have just managed to put both the families to shame. What were you even thinking!?
Checking the weight of your ornaments - not a cause for scorn
Counting the number of necklaces and bangles- not a cause for scorn .
Time to step on the stage..
Examining every inch of the couple on stage- not a cause for scorn .
Deciding on who among the couple is 'lucky' because they managed to bag a good looking spouse- not a cause for scorn.
The bride and groom chat on stage with the whole world watching- Congratulations. You have just managed to put both the families to shame. What were you even thinking!?
Finally, as the day ends, an exhausted, perfect bride, struggling in too tight a cast of a 'fair, thin , homely girl' sets out on a new journey with no visible shackles holding her down .
When her brain finally resurfaces, she finds a bunch of Hypocrates , their eyes brimming with tears of happiness , bidding her goodbye and wishing her the best in life. Their daughter grew up so fast...
When her brain finally resurfaces, she finds a bunch of Hypocrates , their eyes brimming with tears of happiness , bidding her goodbye and wishing her the best in life. Their daughter grew up so fast...
Tuesday, May 20, 2014
ON ADDICTION AND CHANGE... WITH Dr DHARAV SHAH
A realization- simple yet significant; dawned on a young man pursuing his PG studies- that the disease that cause immeasurable pain to the patients families was in face something that was gaining acceptance in our growing society without differences in caste, creed, gender or education- it turned the husband abusive towards his wife, closed its cold hands on their kids and led them to the road to depressive disorders, buried the entire family in debt and drove them to suicide. It was and is, the much ignored issue of Alcohol Addiction. This man decided not to live with fact. He decided to try and bring about change.
Meet Dr Dharav Shah. Dr Dharav Shah did his MD in Psychiatry in NIMHANS and is currently working at BSES hospital, Mumbai. He works on spreading awareness about the socially acceptable addictive poisons- tobacco and alcohol. His audience ranges from street children to nursing and medical students. He has directly touched the lives of 3575 people with more than 110 presentations for the cause.
When asked for an e-mail interview, he sportingly agreed. Here are the excerpts from the same.
1) What made you take up the cause of spreading awareness on addictions?
"Today there is irrefutable scientific evidence about the hazardous consequences of alcohol and tobacco; yet there are no signs of its use decreasing in the near future". These lines got me deeply disturbed. Besides being a psychiatrist , I personally witness the pain that people trapped in addictions and their family experience. I believe that the problem persists because we are not doing enough for prevention. So I decided tpo give one year to get the fact proven in medical journals to the common man. Even educated men associate alcohol with just liver cirrhosis- while it accounts to just 15% of alcohol related deaths!
2)You give lectures on the alcohol "epidemic". Why do you call it that?
Earlier, people who used addictive substances were looked down upon. However, with aggressive marketing with film stars and cricketers, the alcohol industry had succeeded in making it socially acceptable. It is said "Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now girls drink like their fathers!" In Kerala, the percentage of drinking population under 21 has increased from 2 to 14%; and age of initiation has decreased from 19 to 13.5 years in the past 2 decades. And this is the situation across all states. Alcohol is responsible for 6.3% of all global male deaths and for 6-7% of global male DALYs lost. Still worse, this damage happens in the active age group of 15-45 years. Unless we as a society act soon, the epidemic will keep on spreading and may affect my and your home too.
3)Is it true that a small amount of alcohol if drunk on a daily basis is good for the heart?
This is a very widespread misconception. In fact some addicts I have met have taken their first alcohol drink because some great doctor had advised them to start drinking!
The evidence for this claim is weak. At least 2 meta-analyses have refuted this claim.
But the evidence for damage to heart done by alcohol is unequivocal.
This is definitely not true for Indians. A recent country-wide study done in 10 reputed hospitals of India, including AIIMS, has shown that in Indian men at least, the risk for heart attack increases with even light alcohol intake. The study also found that the impact of locally manufactured and branded alcohol on coronary heart disease was similar.
American Heart Association warns people- NOT to start drinking for claimed benefits to heart.
4)What according to you is the best solution for this epidemic?
Prevention is better than cure for any problem; but more so for addictive substances. It works by removing its social acceptability, which is the most effective way. Let me explain- it is a common belief that the alcohol problem is more in India than in the developed countries of the West because of the illiteracy and poverty over here. However, the fact is exactly the opposite. Addictiveness is a property of alcohol and it shows up irrespective of the socio-cultural background. Even in the West, around 15% of those who touch alcohol end up becoming dependent on it and many others drink in binge pattern. Because the proportion of people who touch it is very large, the resulting problem is also very large. How do we maintain our cultural defence and keep alcohol use socially unacceptable?
Spreading Awareness...
Pro alcohol false messaged are frequently flashed on TV; but information about hazards is not talked about as frequently or effectively. Consequently, many youngsters tend to think that only weak minded people get harmed. Doctors must use their authority to educate the society. It is said, " The evil in society is not so much because of the violence of the bad; rather it is because of the silence of the good." A group of students in Nagpur Medical College are going in surrounding municipal schools since 3 years now and have reached out to over 6000 children. If you want to do something similar, you can write to dradityakhetan@gmail.com to know more.
Taking a stand on this issue and advising people to quit/remain abstinent....
Advising is not the same as forcing. Youngsters avoid drinking in front of parents because their parents will object. If friends react in a similar manner, they will listen. The most common reason why people quit is an emotional request from a loved one. If you express your concern and love rather than criticizing, people respond positively. Also if he is unable to quit by himself, you can refer him to de-addiction services or Alcoholic Anonymous. (ask for your local branch on 022-26844400). A timely referral can change their lives.
We can lead by example by not touching these addictive poisons...
5)Why do you say that joining a spiritual group helps in de-addiction?
Joining a spiritual/social/sports or any other group makes sure that you keep receiving highs through healthy ways consistently; and so you no longer feel the need for the high given by alcohol. Also, your lifestyle and social circle changes. Spirituality gives a new direction/purpose to life and often brings in a deeper level of peace and happiness.
Those who would like to know more on the issue or need any support for spreading awareness can write to me on dharavshah@gmail.com. One of the talks on tobacco that i had given has been uploaded on youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WUI5y6c5Ks.
Meet Dr Dharav Shah. Dr Dharav Shah did his MD in Psychiatry in NIMHANS and is currently working at BSES hospital, Mumbai. He works on spreading awareness about the socially acceptable addictive poisons- tobacco and alcohol. His audience ranges from street children to nursing and medical students. He has directly touched the lives of 3575 people with more than 110 presentations for the cause.
When asked for an e-mail interview, he sportingly agreed. Here are the excerpts from the same.
1) What made you take up the cause of spreading awareness on addictions?
"Today there is irrefutable scientific evidence about the hazardous consequences of alcohol and tobacco; yet there are no signs of its use decreasing in the near future". These lines got me deeply disturbed. Besides being a psychiatrist , I personally witness the pain that people trapped in addictions and their family experience. I believe that the problem persists because we are not doing enough for prevention. So I decided tpo give one year to get the fact proven in medical journals to the common man. Even educated men associate alcohol with just liver cirrhosis- while it accounts to just 15% of alcohol related deaths!
2)You give lectures on the alcohol "epidemic". Why do you call it that?
Earlier, people who used addictive substances were looked down upon. However, with aggressive marketing with film stars and cricketers, the alcohol industry had succeeded in making it socially acceptable. It is said "Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now girls drink like their fathers!" In Kerala, the percentage of drinking population under 21 has increased from 2 to 14%; and age of initiation has decreased from 19 to 13.5 years in the past 2 decades. And this is the situation across all states. Alcohol is responsible for 6.3% of all global male deaths and for 6-7% of global male DALYs lost. Still worse, this damage happens in the active age group of 15-45 years. Unless we as a society act soon, the epidemic will keep on spreading and may affect my and your home too.
3)Is it true that a small amount of alcohol if drunk on a daily basis is good for the heart?
This is a very widespread misconception. In fact some addicts I have met have taken their first alcohol drink because some great doctor had advised them to start drinking!
The evidence for this claim is weak. At least 2 meta-analyses have refuted this claim.
But the evidence for damage to heart done by alcohol is unequivocal.
This is definitely not true for Indians. A recent country-wide study done in 10 reputed hospitals of India, including AIIMS, has shown that in Indian men at least, the risk for heart attack increases with even light alcohol intake. The study also found that the impact of locally manufactured and branded alcohol on coronary heart disease was similar.
American Heart Association warns people- NOT to start drinking for claimed benefits to heart.
4)What according to you is the best solution for this epidemic?
Prevention is better than cure for any problem; but more so for addictive substances. It works by removing its social acceptability, which is the most effective way. Let me explain- it is a common belief that the alcohol problem is more in India than in the developed countries of the West because of the illiteracy and poverty over here. However, the fact is exactly the opposite. Addictiveness is a property of alcohol and it shows up irrespective of the socio-cultural background. Even in the West, around 15% of those who touch alcohol end up becoming dependent on it and many others drink in binge pattern. Because the proportion of people who touch it is very large, the resulting problem is also very large. How do we maintain our cultural defence and keep alcohol use socially unacceptable?
Spreading Awareness...
Pro alcohol false messaged are frequently flashed on TV; but information about hazards is not talked about as frequently or effectively. Consequently, many youngsters tend to think that only weak minded people get harmed. Doctors must use their authority to educate the society. It is said, " The evil in society is not so much because of the violence of the bad; rather it is because of the silence of the good." A group of students in Nagpur Medical College are going in surrounding municipal schools since 3 years now and have reached out to over 6000 children. If you want to do something similar, you can write to dradityakhetan@gmail.com to know more.
Taking a stand on this issue and advising people to quit/remain abstinent....
Advising is not the same as forcing. Youngsters avoid drinking in front of parents because their parents will object. If friends react in a similar manner, they will listen. The most common reason why people quit is an emotional request from a loved one. If you express your concern and love rather than criticizing, people respond positively. Also if he is unable to quit by himself, you can refer him to de-addiction services or Alcoholic Anonymous. (ask for your local branch on 022-26844400). A timely referral can change their lives.
We can lead by example by not touching these addictive poisons...
5)Why do you say that joining a spiritual group helps in de-addiction?
Joining a spiritual/social/sports or any other group makes sure that you keep receiving highs through healthy ways consistently; and so you no longer feel the need for the high given by alcohol. Also, your lifestyle and social circle changes. Spirituality gives a new direction/purpose to life and often brings in a deeper level of peace and happiness.
Those who would like to know more on the issue or need any support for spreading awareness can write to me on dharavshah@gmail.com. One of the talks on tobacco that i had given has been uploaded on youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WUI5y6c5Ks.
Tuesday, November 19, 2013
MUNCH! MUNCH! SLURP! GOBBLE!!!
They feast on your insecurities,
Drink up your confidence.
"She is dark, yet pretty!" This is the best compliment a girl with a dusky complexion in India gets, all thanks to the growing obsession to fair skin in India
Switch on the TV, and tiny success stories are narrated in the name of ads, telling you how a girls/boys life changed after he/she used a particular fairness cream. You grow fair, and you get successful, people love you more, you get a better job. Without a fair skin, you never get employed and you are doomed to a sad and lonely life; because you are just not good enough! What the corporate sector thinks of you matters because they definitely care about how you live your life.
One particular incident struck me while taking a village survey as a part of our Community Medicine posting- the house did not have a bathroom or a kitchen, seven people were living crammed in one room, the only thing even close to a door was made out of six wooden logs, over which a sac was draped so that people wouldn't see through . They didn't even eat four times a day, because they couldn't afford it (the father was an alcoholic), but they did have a TV (from the government) and a tube of fairness cream.
Such is the impact of this pointless obsession.
One particular incident struck me while taking a village survey as a part of our Community Medicine posting- the house did not have a bathroom or a kitchen, seven people were living crammed in one room, the only thing even close to a door was made out of six wooden logs, over which a sac was draped so that people wouldn't see through . They didn't even eat four times a day, because they couldn't afford it (the father was an alcoholic), but they did have a TV (from the government) and a tube of fairness cream.
Such is the impact of this pointless obsession.
Every girl in India, whether fair or dusky uses cosmetic or herbal products to enhance their skin tone. And if she refuses to it, it is forced upon her by her family, nosy aunts or friends. This obsession crosses all boundaries of caste, creed, even education.
Will you really get better at work and not get lonely?
I fail to think of any way in which a persons skin color can help them fair better in their jobs. Yes, jobs require you to be presentable, confident, well groomed and hardworking. Under which of these does complexion play a role?
About people noticing and loving you more, did your parents or best friends pick you because of the way your skin glows against the moon light? Even if someone did love you because you got fairer, does that mean that he/she will stop loving you if and when you get a tan?
Then there is the other half of the population who give examples of people who have done well 'in spite' of their dark skin color. Since when did a skin tone become a handicap?
You put one toe into the marriage market, and and you hear one question resonating across the walls, echoing, and amplified- "Is she fair?"while they forget to ask the most important question- "Does she have a good sense of hygiene?"
There is absolutely nothing wrong in liking fair skinned people. But there is something very very wrong if you believe that having a dusky complexion narrows down your opportunities. Don't let it define you.
Your skin tone is a result of your genetic make-up. When people tell you that you are not good enough because of your complexion, they knowingly or unknowingly tell you that your genes are faulty; by implication, your parents and ancestors. You have every right to lash out at them. Do not show mercy!
I am not preaching the "black is beautiful" concept, but the "everybody is beautiful" theory. Wear clothes that suit your body type, choose good colors, keep yourself well groomed, keep things simple and you are good to go. Those girls you see on TV are clones of clones of clones of someone who someone else thought was beautiful. Tomorrow, if somebody announces that "dusky is the new in thing", you will find those people who chided you, wanting to have your skin tone. These are the people you are asked to please- the ones who forgot how to think somewhere along the line.
Paper white is not the Indian skin tone; neither is dusky skin confined to just the southern part of India. The color of your skin is what you acquired; its not something that was intended to be modified. It is what will help you adapt to the environment- that's what evolution intended it to be; then let it stay at just that!
Maybe by refusing to get fairness treatments done, you may not look like those ceramic dolls that can be kept on shelves and be admired, that repeats whatever it is programmed to, and nothing else.
But what you will be is a walking, talking, thinking human being who is honest about herself; you'l be surprised- some people actually like honesty!
I am not preaching the "black is beautiful" concept, but the "everybody is beautiful" theory. Wear clothes that suit your body type, choose good colors, keep yourself well groomed, keep things simple and you are good to go. Those girls you see on TV are clones of clones of clones of someone who someone else thought was beautiful. Tomorrow, if somebody announces that "dusky is the new in thing", you will find those people who chided you, wanting to have your skin tone. These are the people you are asked to please- the ones who forgot how to think somewhere along the line.
Paper white is not the Indian skin tone; neither is dusky skin confined to just the southern part of India. The color of your skin is what you acquired; its not something that was intended to be modified. It is what will help you adapt to the environment- that's what evolution intended it to be; then let it stay at just that!
Maybe by refusing to get fairness treatments done, you may not look like those ceramic dolls that can be kept on shelves and be admired, that repeats whatever it is programmed to, and nothing else.
But what you will be is a walking, talking, thinking human being who is honest about herself; you'l be surprised- some people actually like honesty!
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
The Little Naughty Girl
Once upon a time there lived a little girl;
whose hair fell to her shoulders in little brown curls.
She had a funny giggle and wild wild eyes;
to the people around she was anything but nice!
She braided her hair with ribbons pink and yellow;
in the park she cross tied the shoe laces of every poor fellow.
"Naughty girl! Naughty girl!" the people said;
little did she care and she jumped on the bed.
She loved to startle the strangers with a prank,
and in the zoo she teased the crocodiles in the river bank.
"Naughty girl! Naughty girl!" the people cried ,
and this time nobody took her side.
At school she turned into a walking talking questionnaire
so much that the teacher, intimidated had to step out to get some air!
"Questioned the teacher, did she?" fumed the people
"But it was just a question" she shrugged and flashed her best smile with a dimple.
"That impertinent naughty girl!" the people cried
and this time conspired against her side.
The teachers decided to give her four sharp blows,
they didn't let her friends come remotely close.
The girl who knew nothing but freedom got a mighty jolt
when they put her in a dark cellar and shut the bolt!
"Discipline is success" explained they
"Laughter is simply not the way!"
Fear set its dark shadow on her trail,
The men put her smile and brain on sale.
The brain tried reasoning with its kind "Listen up!"
But hey, theirs were already eaten up!
"This is for her good" the women said
"someday she will have to be wed!"
Her parents refrained from putting up a fight
so many people think it is, it just must be right.
She stopped wearing yellow, she stopped wearing pink,
she forgot her smile and felt her eyes sink.
The people were happy, their lips turned up in a curl,
she is one among us; no more the little naughty girl.
If you don't believe me, then very well,
beyond that river bank, this is a story that still sells.
The heroic tale of how they straightened out that girl,
about how you cannot tell apart who was that little naughty girl.
whose hair fell to her shoulders in little brown curls.
She had a funny giggle and wild wild eyes;
to the people around she was anything but nice!
She braided her hair with ribbons pink and yellow;
in the park she cross tied the shoe laces of every poor fellow.
"Naughty girl! Naughty girl!" the people said;
little did she care and she jumped on the bed.
She loved to startle the strangers with a prank,
and in the zoo she teased the crocodiles in the river bank.
"Naughty girl! Naughty girl!" the people cried ,
and this time nobody took her side.
At school she turned into a walking talking questionnaire
so much that the teacher, intimidated had to step out to get some air!
"Questioned the teacher, did she?" fumed the people
"But it was just a question" she shrugged and flashed her best smile with a dimple.
"That impertinent naughty girl!" the people cried
and this time conspired against her side.
The teachers decided to give her four sharp blows,
they didn't let her friends come remotely close.
The girl who knew nothing but freedom got a mighty jolt
when they put her in a dark cellar and shut the bolt!
"Discipline is success" explained they
"Laughter is simply not the way!"
Fear set its dark shadow on her trail,
The men put her smile and brain on sale.
The brain tried reasoning with its kind "Listen up!"
But hey, theirs were already eaten up!
"This is for her good" the women said
"someday she will have to be wed!"
Her parents refrained from putting up a fight
so many people think it is, it just must be right.
She stopped wearing yellow, she stopped wearing pink,
she forgot her smile and felt her eyes sink.
The people were happy, their lips turned up in a curl,
she is one among us; no more the little naughty girl.
If you don't believe me, then very well,
beyond that river bank, this is a story that still sells.
The heroic tale of how they straightened out that girl,
about how you cannot tell apart who was that little naughty girl.
Sunday, June 2, 2013
THE INCONVENIENT TRUTH
They call her "India's daughter", they call her a "Brave heart", they call her "Damini" after the movie... they call her these names because she was raped- the Delhi Girl. The men who raped her, they say, were animals. They didnt just board a bus to hell - they were discarded back in hell.
Hell is not only when the devil plays his tricks on you. Hell is frightening when angels walk over your fallen body, with their eyes shut, fingers plugging their ears, singing at the top of their voices, to avoid seeing you, to avoid hearing you wail, avoid asking you if you are fine, because they know you are not, because they are afraid to listen to your story, for, it may burst that perfect shiny pink bubble in which they live.
Sorry, Delhi girl, that you had to go through those critical 90 mins waiting for help to come by. I know that sorry means nothing at this point, but being called India's Daughter does not either. They wouldn't have treated you the way they did had they seen you as anybody's daughter.
To the girls friend, i am sorry you had to go through this. But i am not sorry you survived it. May you find a way to turn your anger and pain into power and rise above the ashes.
For the man who got the girl to the hospital- thank you for exercising the humanitarian part of your being. you are more a man, than many others the couple encountered that on day. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
There are two India's we live in. One is the India of the papers- the India Shining- where new peace treaties are signed everyday, new technologies are invented, candle marches and protests are held every time the public is outraged.
And there is another India which i see everyday, where an aunt refuses to make her boys clean the dishes because they "dont need to", where your parents expect you to smile joyfully into the camera like everyone else and just not frown and fuss about it when they sell you off with all their savings in the name of a marriage, because it would hurt their prestige to send you off with anything less. Where a respected adult says that the girl must have been wearing short clothes or that she was out late at night and that's why it happened. When will you stop reasoning with the rapists?
I live in an India where the rapists are called animals, while the common men, the ''aam aadmi' who saw the injured couple and feigned indifference are just not spoken about. The rapists were bad. The common man is us, people who walk the streets we walk by everyday. I am a girl who lives in India knowing that if I were to be in her position today, i would be treated (read ill treated) the same way.
Ignorance is bliss till everyone else is drowning and you are safe at the shore.Today its my life at stake- your life, and there is no shore in sight. A smile is the sign of the imbecile, the ignorant. A frown is the sign of thought.
Please react when you see a girl being looked at or touched at the wrong places in public. You know that rape is not about the clothes- why else would a 5 yr old be raped? Please reach out to children whom you think or know are being abused. you know its not uncommon- then accept it and give them a hand. If you are a boy, I tell you this in their language - "No man accepts money from a girl". You do this, and you earn their gratitude for life, better still, you will feel good about yourself. Trust me on that.
Its time to move beyond pretense. Stop believing that you are fine. You could get attacked tomorrow and people will just watch.Nothing is fine. Its time to bring a change in our mindset. Its time to move beyond demonstrations, to stop forgetting our anger. Its high time we face this inconvenient truth and actually begin to react and react fast.
And you- while you still scream Bharat mata ki jai on the mike sets, or debate about national anthems in movie theaters ; do not open your mouth and ever call me India's daughter. You do not know the meaning of the word- you are not a good parent .
Hell is not only when the devil plays his tricks on you. Hell is frightening when angels walk over your fallen body, with their eyes shut, fingers plugging their ears, singing at the top of their voices, to avoid seeing you, to avoid hearing you wail, avoid asking you if you are fine, because they know you are not, because they are afraid to listen to your story, for, it may burst that perfect shiny pink bubble in which they live.
Sorry, Delhi girl, that you had to go through those critical 90 mins waiting for help to come by. I know that sorry means nothing at this point, but being called India's Daughter does not either. They wouldn't have treated you the way they did had they seen you as anybody's daughter.
To the girls friend, i am sorry you had to go through this. But i am not sorry you survived it. May you find a way to turn your anger and pain into power and rise above the ashes.
For the man who got the girl to the hospital- thank you for exercising the humanitarian part of your being. you are more a man, than many others the couple encountered that on day. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
There are two India's we live in. One is the India of the papers- the India Shining- where new peace treaties are signed everyday, new technologies are invented, candle marches and protests are held every time the public is outraged.
And there is another India which i see everyday, where an aunt refuses to make her boys clean the dishes because they "dont need to", where your parents expect you to smile joyfully into the camera like everyone else and just not frown and fuss about it when they sell you off with all their savings in the name of a marriage, because it would hurt their prestige to send you off with anything less. Where a respected adult says that the girl must have been wearing short clothes or that she was out late at night and that's why it happened. When will you stop reasoning with the rapists?
I live in an India where the rapists are called animals, while the common men, the ''aam aadmi' who saw the injured couple and feigned indifference are just not spoken about. The rapists were bad. The common man is us, people who walk the streets we walk by everyday. I am a girl who lives in India knowing that if I were to be in her position today, i would be treated (read ill treated) the same way.
Ignorance is bliss till everyone else is drowning and you are safe at the shore.Today its my life at stake- your life, and there is no shore in sight. A smile is the sign of the imbecile, the ignorant. A frown is the sign of thought.
Please react when you see a girl being looked at or touched at the wrong places in public. You know that rape is not about the clothes- why else would a 5 yr old be raped? Please reach out to children whom you think or know are being abused. you know its not uncommon- then accept it and give them a hand. If you are a boy, I tell you this in their language - "No man accepts money from a girl". You do this, and you earn their gratitude for life, better still, you will feel good about yourself. Trust me on that.
Its time to move beyond pretense. Stop believing that you are fine. You could get attacked tomorrow and people will just watch.Nothing is fine. Its time to bring a change in our mindset. Its time to move beyond demonstrations, to stop forgetting our anger. Its high time we face this inconvenient truth and actually begin to react and react fast.
And you- while you still scream Bharat mata ki jai on the mike sets, or debate about national anthems in movie theaters ; do not open your mouth and ever call me India's daughter. You do not know the meaning of the word- you are not a good parent .
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